January 26, 2012

Quinn and I. (a look at single parenting)

Now, I know I've touched on this before... but being a single parent is my life. Quinn and I have been tackling this together and although I have mixed emotions at times, I'd have to say I think we are doing a pretty darn good job. So, to clear some things up and help others better realize single parenting...I'd just like to sit back at talk about it for a second.

I often get asked, especially with being a young mom, if it's hard to be a single parent.
Yes, it is hard. Stressful? Sometimes. Rewarding... absolutely.

For me personally, I absolutely love being a single mother. Now this does not mean I never wish to be a coupled parent or have a significant other, in fact I'm infatuated with the idea of love, but at this stage in my life and with the way things are for us... I love it. I have found that while the list of multitasking and chores has ultimately doubled for me, it is absolutely possible to make it work. I have always thought I was a super girl. Haha, no really. Like I could take whatever life threw at me no matter what or how much, and the fact that I have not only managed to take this blessing (which turned my norms inside out) and create a stable life for myself and my daughter...but I have done this without a companion.
There are only a few times I have sat back and started to get a little sad, or felt like maybe somehow there was something missing. One of those moments could be when my daughter does something so amazing, like crawling, or taking a bottle... hitting all of those incredible milestones, and I feel like I wish I had someone to share it with. Being so proud, just wanting to share my happiness and brag!
Then, it always hits me and I know that my family and friends are always there.
And that although I am a single parent, I am not in this alone.

Having friends and family to support you is one of the most important things when looking at single parenting.

I'm not exactly sure how things would be without my closest friends and family in my life, and I don't wish to. Things would be very different, and I think it is very important for a single parent to have supporters.

Even though some might say that it can't possibly be that much harder or different to raise a child on your own... it is an entirely different world.  
Coupled parents will never know what it is like to be a single parent.
No, you do not get any breaks. No, you can not just ask your significant other to take care of the baby. No, You can't just run up to the store or go out for a few hours, knowing your baby doesn't need you. No, you do not have someone always there to help you if you need it; to hand you something just a few feet away because your hands are overly full or to help you load and unload the baby and groceries. Sometimes you can just feel...stuck. Like it would be nice to have someone else there with you, for you.

But not having a second parent is not a bad thing. It should not be looked down upon and is not always a bad thing. When I explain to people that I am a single mother, I don't want them to feel bad for me or my daughter or think that we are missing out on something. Because, if anything, the bond that Quinn and I have developed, and will continue to grow, is stronger than it would have ever been if someone else was in the picture. I am Quinn's everything and she is my world. Without me, who would make her happy? Who would be able to calm her and make her feel safe and secure, always? There is no sharing of love when you look at a single parent and their child. I'm gonna have to say that a bond between a single parent and their child is stronger than coupled parents and their child. Yes, some will argue... but there is no denying that while my daughter looks at me and only me as her everything, coupled parents are only getting half of that.
So, yes I see both pros and cons...but overall I see a perfect way of life that works for us.
And like I've said before Quinn... you are my first, my only priority. And I am so glad that you have my entire heart, I wouldn't have it any other way.

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